


Send More Humans

by SleepsWithCoyotes



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Humans Are Weird, Humor, Interspecies Relationship(s), Other, The Internet Leads to the Dark Side
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 19:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18017051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepsWithCoyotes/pseuds/SleepsWithCoyotes
Summary: You don't know your host thinks he's from a hell planet until he categorically refuses to leave you.





	Send More Humans

"We really need to start making a list," Eddie sighs, shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket. The night air has chilled the leather into a stiff shell, but Venom makes sure he barely feels it, radiating heat all through him. Eddie's gratitude warms Venom through in turn, unspoken but clear. "And maybe, like…do our shopping at an actual grocery store. Save going to Mrs. C's for emergencies."

 **But this is an emergency,** Venom counters. They spent all morning tracking down leads for Eddie's story, only not the good kind of leads where Venom gets to eat someone at the end. He's starving and there's no food at the apartment--no real food anyway--and he's been so good about letting Eddie work in peace. Eddie's work means money, but more than that, it makes Eddie happy, and Venom hungers for that the way he hungers for chocolate.

He's pretty sure Eddie's getting at least flashes of all that, but before Venom can collect himself enough to put any of it into words, stealthy movement on their right has him whipping a tendril free of Eddie's skin, periscoping out of his collar to stare into the shadows with narrowed eyes.

Eddie doesn't pause for thought, just says, "No, Venom," without even glancing at what snared Venom's attention.

Rude.

 **But** \--

"We're not eating a cat, Venom." So maybe he had seen the scruffy ball of fur before it shot off down a narrow alley, grey and black stripes near-invisible in the gloom. "No pets. Nothing that could conceivably be a pet," Eddie corrects himself quickly.

 **We weren't going to eat it** , Venom huffs as he sinks his head back down. The pet lecture is a familiar one, and while Eddie makes a magnificent host, he hasn't quite grown sensitive enough to realize that random observations on the deliciousness of every dog they see is mostly Venom fucking with him.

Which isn't to say Venom's _against_ eating dogs, though it'd be like snacking on grapes when what you want is a steak. Cats are a different story. Cats are _interesting_ \--contradictory, like most things on this planet. Neither big nor tough, they're usually gone before trouble can find them, when they're not seeking trouble out deliberately. He's watched them run from one human only to run _to_ the next, tail in the air and crying for attention. Sometimes he wonders if cats have the sixth sense Eddie talks about: the ability to tell good humans from bad. He's ninety percent certain it's just an uncanny knack for spotting a sucker.

As they pass the alley the cat disappeared into, Venom peeks again over the collar of Eddie's jacket and the bunched hood of Eddie's sweatshirt, flattening the pseudopod he's extended until only his eyes crest the dark fabric. He's pretty sure he's seen that animal before, and it's definitely no one's pet.

"Uh-huh. Sure you weren't," Eddie says with a hint of a laugh, adding up Venom's continuing interest and constant hunger and coming up with the wrong answer. The steady hum of affection Venom's growing to rely on doesn't fade.

Venom grumbles wordlessly and retreats beneath Eddie's skin, looping around his collarbones without warming up first. Chilled inside and out from the late fall air, Eddie shivers convulsively, hunching his shoulders up around his ears.

"Low blow," Eddie mutters. The grin says all is forgiven.

***

They're making way on the sidewalk for a woman with a stroller, side-stepping and turning with their back nearly pressed to the wall of the neighboring apartment building, when something sharp rakes their scalp. Eddie yelps, ducking away, but the woman he stepped aside for looks past their head and laughs, short and surprised. Only a frantic mental _'NO'_ from Eddie keeps Venom from boiling to the surface and eating both their attacker and their mocker. Then Eddie casts a harried look over his shoulder and--

It's the cat. The same one Venom's seen before, but this time it's not running. Perched on a window ledge just above their head, it sits with one paw still outstretched, swiping lazily at them when they don't move away. It doesn't seem particularly annoyed or even particularly committed to the chase; its skinny body is relaxed, though there's a sharpness in its eyes that Venom recognizes. Still. It's a cat. They're ten times its size, at least.

And now Eddie is smiling. Humans are so _weird_.

 **It's not running** , Venom points out, deciding to start with the obvious. Sometimes it helps.

"Nah," Eddie says under his breath as he turns his back to the street, reaching up and tapping his fingers against the brick just below the ledge. The cat takes another swipe at him, more interested this time, but still doesn't bother getting up. "Drop below a cat’s eyeline, and you automatically become a target. She's just playing, see?"

It doesn't look much like playing to Venom; those claws are sharp, and if they'd been closer to the size of the cat's usual prey, that casual swipe at their head would have ended much differently. All the same, both the cat and Eddie seem to be enjoying themselves, and the few people who glance their way break into smiles as well.

 **Humans are amused by other species' predatory behaviors?** That hasn't been the case in many places. Most spacefaring races have long since exterminated non-essential lifeforms from their worlds, whether through design or neglect. What remains is cultivated, tamed. Safe.

"Oh--yeah, actually. It's a space orc thing, I guess."

Venom replays that again. It still doesn't make any sense.

**A what thing?**

***

Google it, Eddie says, tapping at the phone he keeps in the front pocket of his hoodie, but Venom's had free access to Earth technology long enough to be wary of such advice. Googling leads to Wikipedia, and Wikipedia leads to YouTube, _'and YouTube leads to the Dark Side,'_ or so Eddie claims. Still. He's curious.

What he finds is ridiculous, but also enlightening.

 **Eddie** , he prods while Eddie's gathering up the sheets and towels for the laundry. He gleefully ignores the groan he gets in response. **Eddie, what's your preferred temperature range? Are you the type of human who doesn't cover his limbs in winter?**

"C'mon, Vee," Eddie scoffs as he leaves the bathroom, throwing a towel at the basket at the foot of the bed. "You know exactly how hot or cold I am at any given moment. You also know I 'cover my limbs' every moment of the day I'm not showering or getting dressed."

 **Yes, and you hate it** , Venom points out, unimpressed. Why Eddie still thinks he can hide things from Venom is a mystery. Eddie covers up because it's what you do around company, and while Venom's grateful Eddie thinks of him as a person, he wishes Eddie would stop thinking of him as something separate when they're one and the same. **You should just forget them**.

"What, my clothes?" Eddie asks with a startled laugh, paused in the act of giving a grey tee the sniff test. "Because there are some pretty stiff legal penalties for public nudity--"

 ** _I_ could be your clothes. You would be very warm**, Venom swears virtuously, intrigued by the prickle of heat that climbs Eddie's neck to settle in his cheeks. That doesn't mean he's distracted. **We could even visit the Arctic Circle**.

Eddie makes a delightful noise, half frustrated growl and half sigh of resignation. "Look, if you want to point out how stupid we are as a species, believe me, we--"

 **Not stupid** , Venom cuts him off, easing back on his teasing. **Just...optimistic. The universe is a harsher place than you could ever imagine**.

For some reason that sparks a grin. "And you're worried the cocky attitude isn't going to do us any favors?"

Venom wriggles uncomfortably in the space behind Eddie's ribs. **Every species wants to believe itself special** , he hedges, when what he wants to say is: _'Humans are cats, Eddie. You're not tough or strong, but you're clever, except when you're really, really not._ What possessed Eddie to run _to_ him after the explosion when he should've been free, shouting for attention until Venom scraped up enough of himself to sink back into Eddie's bones, Venom will never understand. He's supposed to be the weird one. Symbiosis is the stuff of horror movies here, not something Eddie would ever have dreamed of...yet here they are.

Eddie barks a laugh. "Okay, so first, don't believe everything you read on the internet. And second...none of that stuff you read is actually our secret superpower."

Venom perks up. Humans have a secret superpower? He's heard bits and pieces about the mutant gene, but that's not the impression he gets from the background hum of Eddie's thoughts.

Extruding a part of himself from between Eddie's shoulder blades, he curls his long pseudo-neck around to look Eddie in the eyes. **"What is it, then?"**

One corner of Eddie's mouth quirks up, etching a divot in his cheek Venom finds inexplicably fascinating. "Sheer fucking stubbornness, mostly. And spite--don't forget spite."

Venom rears back, eyes wide. **"Spite?"**

"Oh, man," Eddie chuckles, giving up on the laundry to plop down at the edge of the bed, hands braced on the mattress behind him. "I can't tell you how many of the greatest inventions of mankind came about because somebody told somebody else they couldn't do it--not just that it couldn't be done, but that _they specifically_ could not do the thing. It's like we're hardwired for it. Humans eat, sleep, perpetuate the species, and say 'Oh, yeah?' when we hear the word 'impossible'."

Venom suspects Eddie's talking about himself again, but also that there's more to it than that. Any species that has reached the stars can say much the same, but humans...there's something about them he can't quite shape the edges of. The aggressive friendliness, perhaps, or a sixth sense, nearly feline, that leads them to seek companionship where no one else would.

Or maybe Venom's just a sucker. If this is how a cat's chosen human feels, the tradeoff is probably worth it.

It's long past midnight, Eddie mostly asleep, when Venom finally asks the question, the one they've both been avoiding for weeks. **Why?** rumbles against Eddie's jaw, as if the words are coming from Eddie's own throat. **Why did you come back for me?**

Eddie's silent for a moment, long enough for Venom to think he doesn't have an answer, that it's just one of those things humans do without thinking, confusing even themselves.

"Hey," Eddie says at last, voice sleep-roughened and soft. "You know what humans do when one of them gets lost in the woods?"

 **Send more humans after them** , Venom replies promptly, though he doesn't see the correlation. **Even if they die**.

"That's right. We don't leave one of our own behind."

That's so manifestly untrue Venom doesn't know where to begin. Just look at all the hosts he was fed before Eddie came along and had his fit--or feat--of desperate strength. And yet he knows: Eddie would search. For a friend. For a stranger. Even for an alien symbiote he'd wanted no part of just hours before. Venom doesn't pretend to understand; though there are none of Venom's kind left on Earth to come for him if he were lost, even if there were, they wouldn't.

Eddie doesn't see the problem. In Eddie's mind, there are people who help and people who hurt, and he's already decided which one Venom is.

"Anyway," Eddie yawns into the crook of his arm, "just returning the favor. You came back for me, remember?"

Of course he does, but...they had a job, a mission. One that required both of them. He couldn't have survived long outside a suitable host anyway. And all of that is bullshit, but it's the sort of rational bullshit he'd expected to have to counter as he pled his case in hopes of being permitted to stay. Never in a million lifetimes had he expected to find a host so determined to believe the best of him.

More than anything, he doesn't want to disappoint.

***

The next time they see the cat, it's not alone. A kid with almost as much metal in his face as pinned through his jacket crouches at the mouth of an alley, the backs of his loosely-curled fingers held out hopefully. The cat stands a little way off, rubbing its side against the edge of a dumpster. It doesn't come any closer, but it does a strange little dance, picking its forepaws up and putting them down again, like its front half is walking in place. Its tail points up with a little curl at the tip.

Eddie goes still inside as he eyes the kid, smile nailed on tight even as he shifts the bag of their groceries to his other arm. The rustle of plastic draws the attention of both kid and cat, but though both turn to look, neither one moves. The cat starts rubbing its cheek against the trash bin; the kid's studded ears flush with embarrassment, but he doesn't withdraw his hand.

For some reason, that turns Eddie's smile genuine, shoulders relaxing as he glances at the cat.

"She likes tuna," Eddie offers, reaching into their bag and pulling out the sandwich Eddie had intended for his own dinner. The kid blinks but takes the sandwich with a sheepish mutter of thanks. "Good luck!"

It's not difficult to read Eddie's intentions, but Venom's still not certain he understands.

**You wanted him to lure the cat?**

"Sure," Eddie says with a touch of surprise. "He was obviously a cat person. Be nice if she could find a home."

A home. Not just the containment or relocation of a feral creature. The urge to pester Eddie for more information is strong, but Eddie took _him_ in. His reactions may be atypical, to say the least.

"I'll sort of miss seeing her around, though," Eddie adds wistfully.

It's all Venom can do not to poke a tendril out to stare at him openly. The cat was not anything he understands humans to value in their pets; it wasn't affectionate, didn't keep them company, and though it might have been pleasant to touch, it never came close enough to allow Eddie to discover that for himself. It did nothing but drain resources and occasionally mistake Eddie for food.

 **Really?** Venom asks, not bothering to curb his incredulity.

Eddie shrugs. "She's a good cat."

Venom has _questions._

***

One of the strangest things about Eddie--and one of the things that makes Venom want to wrap Eddie up in layer upon layer of himself and never risk anything taking Eddie from him again--is how quickly and easily Eddie takes to sharing a body. Venom's had hosts lose every speck of rationality in the past, paranoid even when he was lying dormant, no longer certain any of their actions were their own. He doesn't want that to happen to Eddie, so he makes a conscious effort not to grab for control too often. In return, Eddie just _gives_ whenever Venom does take over, trusting there's a good reason for it.

The first time Eddie falls asleep on the couch and wakes to Venom coaxing their body to its feet, he flails around blearily, peels open one eye with great difficulty, and relaxes with a grunt when he realizes who has him.

"Bed?" Eddie mumbles, clumsily trying to help them along though he's mostly deadweight suspended in Venom's sheltering bulk.

 **"Go back to sleep,"** Venom murmurs, and Eddie does, out before he hits the pillows, face-first.

Venom knows better now, that Eddie will nap on the couch only until Venom reaches out to turn the lamp off, and then he'll get up on his own and shuffle obligingly where he's aimed, a soft and yawning zombie. Mostly Venom saves unfettered access to their body for vital research and ill-advised Google searches.

It worries him a little that they're often the same thing.

Tonight it's curiosity that has him hauling Eddie's sleeping body upright, reaching over to tap his laptop back to life instead of flicking off the lights. He'd thought at first that Eddie's behavior that evening was just Eddie being Eddie, but then there was the boy with the intimidating exterior and squishy defenses. Would _any_ human have acted the same way? Is it natural to see a wild creature and think, 'Yes, I will take this home with me?'

According to Google, yes. Yes, it is. And humans have proudly been documenting this fact since they learned how to dab family pictures of their pets on the walls of their caves with fingerpaints.

Dumbfounded, Venom hunches over Eddie's laptop and tries to bring matters into perspective, only to find he can't. There is no perspective to be had. He tries searching 'domesticated carnivores.' He tries searching 'domesticated predators.' He tries to find an _upper limit on mass_ , but no--humans had domesticated elephants some eight _thousand_ years ago.

Suspicious, he types in a query regarding the largest sea animal, and groans feelingly to himself. Apparently blue whales are simply too large to keep in aquariums, or the humans would have done it.

Size had _not_ been a factor in teaching _killer_ whales to do tricks for them.

 **"Eddie,"** he says flatly some twenty minutes later, poking a tendril into Eddie's side. **"Eddie, what is _wrong_ with you?"**

"Wha?" Eddie mumbles, coming awake with a snort and a half-hearted flail, squinting against the light. He rears his head back a little when Venom sticks his face right up in Eddie's own, nearly eyeball-to-eyeball, but only pushes Venom far enough back that he doesn't go cross-eyed. "Wrong with...huh? 'M I sick again?"

 **"No,"** Venom insists, offended Eddie could even think it. **"What is wrong with you _humans_?"**

"Uh...lots?" Eddie says, collapsing back against the couch cushions and scratching idly at his stomach through his shirt. "Gonna have to be more specific, Vee."

**"You tamed the wolves, Eddie. And the little cats. And the _big_ cats. And then you got in the water and tamed the _fish_."**

"Well, I think all the fish we've tamed have technically been mammals," Eddie defends his species, perplexed.

**"The snakes aren't."**

"Yeah, no, and they're not really domesticated, either," Eddie says with a chuckle. "You keep snakes, you're definitely getting bit sooner or later."

**"So why do you _keep_ them?"**

"Well, they're uh...kind of neat--"

**"And the spiders."**

"Eh--"

 **"NOBODY LIKES SPIDERS, EDDIE."**

"That's--not entirely true?"

Venom narrows his eyes, wrapping Eddie up tight in a dozen tendrils even as he grumbles, **"Riot was an idiot to try and invade you."**

Eddie grins, going loose-limbed in Venom's hold. "Too much for you to handle, darlin'?"

They realize what he's said at the same time, blinking at each other wide-eyed. Venom can feel Eddie's brief hope that it's not a word Venom knows, that he won't just automatically glean the meaning from his-- _idiot, you fucking idiot_ \--host, but he's come across it a time or two while spiraling down the rabbit hole. A little old-fashioned, a little quaint, it could mean something or nothing at all.

From the way Eddie's sleepy good humor turns acrid with nerves, the now-you've-done-it pit hollowing out his stomach, it means everything Venom could hope for and more.

 **"Hardly,"** Venom huffs, studiously casual, even as he's easing more of himself out to slowly wrap Eddie in a dozen more limbs. When Eddie shifts, uncertain of his own interpretation of the gesture, Venom lets him but doesn't let go, clinging just enough to drag like a lazy hand over Eddie's skin. **"But it would've been a wasted effort. All we had to do is plant ourselves in your path and wait for you to take us home."**

He expects Eddie to laugh, relax at the teasing and realize he has nothing to worry about. Venom's never been particularly interested in his hosts' mating urges, but he's interested in Eddie's _everything_.

He's not expecting Eddie to turn thoughtful.

"I mean...you're not _wrong_. Small, round things with big eyes are human kryptonite, so like...if you did the eye thing outside of a host? And that's not even factoring in the tentacle ki--ah."

Eddie's flush begins at his hairline and spills halfway down his chest. When Venom's face looms close again, he squirms a little but takes a deep breath, the brassy tang of adrenaline and determination licking across Venom's senses through every point of connection. Venom could spare Eddie the mortification threatening to overflow at any moment, take his curiosity to Google, but he doesn't _care_ if Eddie's reactions are atypical. He almost hopes they are.

 **"Eddie,"** he says. **"Eddie, I have questions."**

Eddie laughs, mostly breath. "I bet you do." One arm twists in Venom's grip, but only enough for Eddie's fingers to close tentatively around the coil looped around his wrist.

And...well. The opportunity is _right there_.

**"Eddie, are humans capable of irrational feats of strength in defense of their mates?"**

Eddie's mouth opens, but nothing comes out until-- "Oh my _God_."

**"Is 'hold my beer' a mating call? Have you ever had to send more humans because a breeding party got lost in the Arctic?"**

Eddie sputters at the last one, the wary tension humming through him evaporating at last. "You're such a dick," he says, an aching fondness gentling his words.

**"I'm your dick."**

"That sounded better in your head, didn't it?" Eddie notes sagely, free hand reaching up to cup Venom's cheek.

Venom nudges into Eddie's palm--like a cat, Eddie thinks with some amusement--and leans closer still. **"I have questions about the tentacles, too,"** he rumbles into Eddie's ear. **"Do you want me to look it up?"**

Eddie shivers, and Venom can tell from the delicious shift Eddie's emotions take that it's the good kind. "Ah...maybe not this time," Eddie says, turning his head a little to rest his brow against Venom's temple, unashamedly reveling in the chance to touch.

 _Oh._ Oh, this was why--with the clothes, and the stilted attempts at modesty that never felt quite natural. Eddie had wanted more--more closeness, more contact--but hadn't wanted to ask too much.

Venom rejects the very idea of 'too much' so fiercely Eddie picks up on it too, and for an instant wonder sparks between them. They're going to be _so good_ together once they finally settle into each other; they're already more than he could ever have imagined.

 **"This time?"** Venom echoes distractedly as the hand on his cheek drifts back to mold to the curve of his skull. Already Eddie feels more confident, more certain of what he wants, and what he wants is them.

A tug, a twitch of fingers, and Venom will go wherever Eddie wants him. He'd just be returning the favor.

"Yeah," Eddie says with a grin full of promise, at odds but not with the quiet contentment building behind his ribs. "I'll talk you through it, darlin'. Anything you want to know."

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest, the Humans Are Weird post cropped up on my tumblr at some point after I saw this movie, and I was consumed by the mental image of Venom reading it, going, **"Eddie no, you are squishy and adorable,"** and Eddie not having the heart to tell him that instilling "PROTECT AT ALL COSTS" in the real space orcs is totally humanity's secret superpower.


End file.
